Thursday, May 22, 2008

Joy of Joys

Oh joy of joys! Oh sweet delight!

It's teacher appreciation week and yesterday I came in to a lovely card and a gift certificate to the local art supply store! Red rubber blocks, here I come! (See previous post.)

This has been such a nice week. Want to hear a funny story on me? Last week I was under the impression it was teacher appreciation, so I took all our teachers their gifts. (See the fresco pictures in my last post for the gift to our fourth grade teacher. I gave him the cross fresco I made for his classroom.) But on Friday at the end of the day I still had not even had anyone tell me "Happy appreciation week." I was so bummed out. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter, but you know those two little voices? The other one kept saying things like "Well, you're so strict and mean with those 7th and 8th graders--they don't like you. Why would they appreciate you? You give TESTS in ART! I mean what kind of art teacher does that?!" Well, I do. I want to make sure they're listening and learning.

Well, by the time my poor husband came home I was checked out on the couch playing video games, trying not to cry between planets. Then it all came spewing out. It really showed me the condition of my heart and it came up wanting. I don't teach so that everyone can tell me what a great job--well good job--okay any kind of praise is nice--I do. I teach to help the school, to encourage budding artists, to expose the kids to an element of our created being in God's image (the creativity), to share what I've learned and the side benefits include growing my own skills, being around children that I enjoy and love and promoting art in as many forms as possible. But last Friday it didn't feel that way, until after I let go of all the selfishness. Heart check.

Then I went in the kitchen and as I was cleaning it up something kept niggling the edge of my brain. Something about a letter I'd received asking for help with appreciating my son's teacher. Something about the 19th of May. It didn't take long for me to dig up the letter and yes, it did say something about the 19th of May. It said that was the beginning of, yes, you guessed it--teacher appreciation week. What else could I do but laugh at my own foolishness? I am such an idiot.

So between feeling really foolish and getting a close up view of the state of my heart lately, this week has been humbling. I've received three gifts this week, each one very thoughtful, and each one has reminded me that I'm not that deserving. I don't teach to receive glory, but that is what I was wanting. I am humbled and that is how God wants me, but He loves me even when I mess up--I really like that part. Even when my heart is not where He wants it, He still sacrificed for me and He doesn't lose His sheep. If you're not one of His sheep and have questions, please send me a comment/message--I'd love to share with you. If you are one of His sheep--that's really the Joy of Joys and the Sweetest Delight--don't you think!

Gloria!

1 comment:

quiltcrazygal said...

Larin - I was just tagged, and I love your blog and thought it would be nice to share it with others. I included you in my tag, please stop by my blog. Thank you for being so kind to me! Cheers, Jenna Louise